So today I'm going to throw you straight into the cold water with an experiment.
Experiment: What draws your energy?
STEP 1: Take 5 to 10 minutes and write down the points that do not fulfill you in life or that draw your energy.
Here are some examples:
- My mother who calls 3 times a day
- My boss, who repeatedly makes me small or puts pressure on me
- My job, which I don't really enjoy in general
- The girlfriend / boyfriend who only whines when we see each other
- Some colleagues who talk neurotically and superficially when we meet
- My apartment, which is much too dark and narrow
- My relationship, in which we often quarrel
STEP 2: Now that you've written down these points, the second step is to write down why you're playing this game. What are your reasons? Why have you kept running things that don’t fulfill you and suck your energy?
Here are some examples:
- I'm afraid that the others will no longer like me if I set a limit.
- I am afraid that otherwise I am alone.
- I don't know how to approach change.
- It is comfortable. That’s what I am familiar with.
- Circumstances cannot be changed so easily.
- Others expect this from me.
Now that you've gone through these two steps, look at the list again and answer the following two exciting questions:
How much is your precious lifetime worth to you?
How much are you worth to yourself?
We often think that we are caught in circumstances and cannot change them so easily. However, this is not the case! You have a power that nobody can take away from you: the power of choosing! This means you can choose what you want to do with your life at any time. I give you a concrete, personal example:
Many years ago I had a completely different job. I was a project manager in the IT and automotive industry. Then one day I asked myself whether this job fulfills me and whether I wanted to continue doing it. The clear answer was "No!" So I decided to find my vocation and live it. After exactly 2 weeks, out of nowhere, I got a hint from a friend through a small comment that got me on my new path. Of course I could have stayed in the old job. I was successful there and had every conceivable convenience. But the job no longer corresponded to me.
If you really want to change something, you can change it! If you now say "I would like to, but it is not that easy", you are hiding behind the convenience. Then part of you would rather stay in the comfort zone. This is not good and not bad. If you would like to continue to fill your lifetime with things that are actually not good for you and suck your energy, then this is your decision. However, you can choose at any time. Choosing is a skill that no one can take away from you.
Anger - The power for making decisions
This brings us to an important aspect. In order to change something in your life, it is necessary to make a decision. Many people find that difficult. Oftentimes the reason is that they have no conscious and responsible access to their anger. Consider that you need anger to make a powerful decision. Decision means you de-cide; you separate one thing from another as if you were separating two things with a sword. For this you need access to your anger. We're not talking about the irresponsible, loud explosion like a volcano eruption. Anger can also be quiet, but it is determined. It has direction, it has focus, it has determination and action. You need the anger to no longer be a victim of the circumstances, but to finally set limits, take a stand for yourself and delete the things in your life that do not fulfill you.
Fear - the catalyst for going into unknown territory
But - you may already suspect it - even if you want to make a decision, the next obstacle can be your fear; the fear of not knowing. If you would radically honest change some things, what is left then? How will continue from there? And here we come to another very crucial point:
If you let fear block you, because you do not know what your life looks like or what happens when you set some boundaries and make certain decisions, then will automatically go back into your comfort zone and continue to live as before. However, you could also use your fear as valuable rocket fuel instead. Take into consideration that fear simply indicates that something new is happening that you don't know. Use fear to go ahead courageously, to break new ground, to be creative or to improvise. You can do all of this with fear if you consciously and responsibly use it as a force. You also need the fear to be able to stand in total nothingness, i. e. in not knowing.
The magic of nothingness
If you trust the fear, pure magic arises in the following way: As soon as you have trusted the fear and possibly ended some contacts, set boundaries in your job or your relationship or made other decisions without knowing what’s going to happen next, then you stand in complete nothingness. It feels a bit like you cut a lot of old, annoying threads that prevented you from going ahead. This nothingness creates a vacuum. That means the new freedom that you have gained by letting go of things that no longer fulfill or inspire you, leads to new things coming in. A vacuum creates suction.
Imagine you have a room that is full with furniture and all sorts of stuff. The room is packed up to the ceiling. All this stuff is comparable to all the things in your life that you don't really want to have. So that something new can come in, you first have to bring out the old, disused furniture and all other stuff. It is not enough that you open the door and say "I would like to, I have opened the door." It is necessary that you make a clear decision and take action. Then you completely clear out the room until it is empty and the bright sunlight falls through the windows into the room. You can then fully inspired redesign this empty space in your own way. But first get rid of the old stuff.
Here is another personal example:
At the end of last year - I had been working as a trainer for 12 years - I came to a point where I had to admit radically honest that the training formats that I had delivered until then no longer inspired me. It was scary, because I had built the context and had a lot of experience with these training formats. One option would have been to just keep going as usual. After all, it is my calling to empower people. But it was clear that I had to let go of the old training formats. As soon as I had made this decision and communicated it to colleagues, I stood in complete nothingness. What would come next? How should it go on? At the same time, I felt a new freedom, ease and new inspiration to develop new training formats that empower people. Was I afraid to leave the old behind? YES. Did I stand in complete nothingness? YES. Did I know what to do next? NO. But the suction of the vacuum worked immediately. As soon as I had made the decision for myself, a new coaching program arose out of the question of a coaching client, which then resulted in further new formats.
To put it in one sentence:
As soon as you make clear decisions, the path will show beneath your feet!
If you muck out in your life, you create a vacuum and that magically brings new things and people into your life that you didn't expect. So what do you want to do with your precious lifetime? How much are you worth to yourself? Are you worthy of creating magic in your life and aligning your life so that you are inspired and fulfilled? Or do you prefer to remain a victim of the circumstances in your comfort zone, where it is cozy but where are only partially happy and annoyed by many things? You have this life right now. What are you doing with your precious lifetime?
In this sense, have fun cleaning out.
All the best,